​When We Were Younger

By Cindion Huang ’25
I slowly realize the reason why I’m not happy
is that I always anticipated a result --
an approval,
a grade,
like a “gain” in a trade.
 
I read books and novels hoping I would take something from it
I go on a diet wishing I could be skinnier;
Send a message to someone anticipating their response;
Posting photos on social media waiting to receive likes and comments;
Attending an event not only to socialize but also craving for a tremendous experience.
 
And I was always expecting others to treat me
the same way as I treat them --
Admit it,
We all do.
 
And when these “expectations” do successfully accomplish,
“phew” was often the word that came up with relief.
And when they don't?
 
We would blame ourselves for it so hard that
The momentary happiness we felt
Will quietly slip out the window,
Like morning fog disappearing into daylight.
 
Yet when we were younger,
We would spend a whole fall afternoon watching tiny ants painstakingly moving pebbles,
We would watch and wait for a flower to bloom in the sunshine,
When we were younger,
 
Nothing else matters --
No grades or test scores,
No struggles over relationships,
No deadlines of assignments and papers,
 
When we were younger,
We only knew how to laugh and cry.