Why Are We So Stressed About College? And Is There A Cure?

By: Luna Yang '26

​It starts innocently enough: a casual, “So where are you thinking of applying?” at a family gathering. You smile politely, rattle off a few school names that sound impressive enough, and brace for the follow-up question “That’s a great school. Very competitive, though. What’s your backup?” 
You laugh it off. It’s fine. Totally fine. 
Then, somewhere between filling out the yellow college counseling sheet and your third meeting with the school counselor, the panic hits you. Where am I going to apply? What if I don’t get in? 
At some point in the college application process, we all feel this. But why does this process feel so overwhelming, and even at times, suffocating?
Ever since we could color within the lines and write our names in neat bubble letters, we were told that college is key to ‘the good life,’ where we would discover our passions, find our people, and secure our future careers. But somewhere along the way, colleges morphed into a measure of success. It became a reflection of who we are, or at least, who we want others to believe we are. 
We then categorize our schools into a hierarchy. Safety. Target. Reach. We learn the lingo before we even understand our own preferences. And, suddenly, the names on our school list say more about our intelligence than our actual interests. 
We type “best colleges” into any search engine, and a pool of rankings appears. Best National Universities. Top Liberal Arts Colleges. Best Pre-Med Schools. We scroll, compare, then obsess, easily forgetting to ask: What do I want for my next four years? 
This trap of prestige is, unfortunately, real. We chase names that we can proudly print on sweatshirts, not always because those schools are right for us, but because they sound right to everyone else. 
So, where does this leave us? Anxious, overworked, and increasingly preoccupied with the prospect of acceptance rather than the excitement of possibility. While there is no simple cure for the demands of the process, it doesn’t have to be soul-depleting.
The first step is to reframe what we define as a “good” college. The ranking list is often driven by metrics such as notable alumni, endowment size, and computer-calculated statistics that fail to measure compatibility. While prestige may be alluring, the overall fit offers long-term fulfillment. Begin by listing your non-negotiables: Do you value class size? Are you seeking a tight-knit community or an expansive campus?  
Then comes the harder part: allowing yourself to pursue a path that diverges from the conventional. This might mean choosing a lesser-known school that offers the exact program you’re passionate about, or even saying “no” to a highly ranked university that doesn’t align with your learning style. And, certainly, it means embracing the discomfort of relinquishing the imagined standards of others. 
Additionally, managing stress is just as important throughout the college process, so take breaks from college talk when it becomes too all-consuming. Limit your exposure to Reddit threads and social media posts that reduce your future to a test score or criteria. Instead, carve out time for things that ground you, such as taking a walk or even just having a conversation unrelated to school. These small pauses can help regain what you truly value and your sense of self. 
If you are a student reading this, and you are just as stressed out as I am, take a deep breath and step back from the rankings. Do not allow your worth to be deduced to an acceptance letter, and it certainly should not be a final test of your value.